Situation Messed Up

And again, my life is in a mess. Nothing much, just in term of relationships, and it's not even love I am talking about here. So today, I wanted to ask good friend A if I could just stay over at her place for the night because I will meet another friend B for dinner in Manhattan and probably not be able to catch the last bus back home, and since I will be going with Friend A to the wine tour in the morning, in Manhattan, it sounds reasonable. Going to Manhattan, returning back to Jersey and coming back again in the morning is not the best option I can have.

So, I asked Friend A what she was doing on Friday evening and told her I will be meeting a friend in mid-town. Then came the question 'I am not sure on Friday, so, are you inviting me there?‘... No, I wasn't. Seriously I was embarrassed about it that she asked this question and didn't know how to respond. Like saying 'Oh no,..' doesn't sound correct at all... and of course, it will be embarrassing for her as well I am sure. I wasn't about to do that to her.

In the end, I paused for a while, then directly told her is because the Saturday, since I will be going out with her to the wine tour, it might be easier for me to bunk at her place for the night and then go together in the morning.... totally skipping the part about her question to invite her for the dinner on Friday evening. I intended it to be a separate thing. Indirectly, really, telling her 'erm.. not.. not actually, I just want to bunk at your place for the night instead... would you mind?'... Of course she would mind, my goodness. She definitely got this not-subtle hint about it, for sure. She didn't ask anymore... and she started explaining the place is really in a mess because of some big cardboard stuff standing in the way of her very small studio apartment etc. etc.

Seriously, she is a very very good and dear friend to me, I would love to invite her for the dinner together, if is not that I had seriously hope that to do something out of ordinary towards Friend B, I would definitely love her to come together and had a great night out... I know is embarrassing. In the end, of course, she sort of outright rejected me to bunk at her place, so I gave up. I do not blame her in any sense, is really me. Moreover, is just inconvenient for her I'm sure, not excuses that she doesn't want me to stay. Definitely not just because I hinted that she assumed I am asking her to join for Friday's dinner.

Really, certain things happened altogether at such timing that situations turned embarrassing to all parties involved. It certainly will not affect anything (I hope) with this small episode in life. However, it does reminds me, the stark embarrassment of certain actions or words that I speak brings about the misunderstanding. No matter how close the relationship you have with the other party. It also teaches me, once again, the importance of clear, no ambiguity communication skills that I really lack in personal life. One thing for sure is that this is not the first time and I do not think it will be the last time for me, probably nor for anyone who is as sensitive to realise this.