An Honest Self Description

1. I take confidence in my work, and the way I work.

2. On the other side, I am trying very hard to get a grip of myself and not let the demon takeover the sanity. So far, I am proud of what I am achieving because I know it could be a lot worse. Imagine getting into drugs and waste the life away.

3. My mind goes frenzy once in a while. The 2 biggest thing I am afraid is being blind, and the fact that I can absolutely understand what it is like to have a snapped mind.

4. I want to so much travel the world, yet right now I am too much of a couch potato who's happy with the life of mundane nine to five 'expatriate' with a pathetic remuneration package. I likened that to what a foreign construction worker is receiving after a hard day's work out in the sun laying bricks.

5. I like to take challenges constantly, physically and mentally. I think each challenge I overcome, I am stronger than who I was before.

6. I get lazy, lack of motivation and just let myself slack in other areas of life. I excuse myself that this is a way to de-stress.

7. The fact I try to push myself harder, because deep inside, I am nothing but a pile of mud.

8. Pessimistic, but I still have hope, and being naive is what gives the hope. Most of the time, I *hope* I am naive and life is all about eating strawberries and getting medicure and pink nail polish and fashionable clothes and rich, handsome boys kissing the hem of my mini-skirt. The only problem in my life, then, would be which rich boy to choose for prom night and if he will be the future father for my kids.

9. I hate to embarrass myself in public, I imagine I would be all classy, intellect, clever, clearheaded and classy with a touch of beauty. The fact is, I am not really. Did I just mention classy twice?? That shows a bit of the muddle-head that I am in reality.

10. I think I will be senile when I grow old, and because I do not want to be old and senile, I am constantly smoking to keep my life span not longer than 70.

11. If I grow old and have cancer, I will not seek medication but redemption. This is in the hope that my third biggest fear will not come true. After death, my conscious is stuck with my rotten body in a coffin till infinity. I will then request that they cremate my body instead of bury it just to be safe.

12. Lastly, I should stop here, because judging by the way this whole thing is going, I am going to let my imagination run wild and scare the daylight out of myself.. oh sorry, is it not night time now?