明天，睡到爽. 別人的事情，不管. 繼續糜爛墮落，反正是周末. 就算是浪費生命，也是對周日過渡工作的自己一種慰勞.

家裏亂地像被打槍幾回了，但是沒有人來，亂了也只給自己看. 然後說: ''狗窩就要要有狗窩的樣子嘛''. 繼續放縱自己的懶惰... 理所當然.
迷惘，就算不嗑葯都已經是呈現半混沌狀，每天過著沒有記憶的時間，今天和昨天一樣，明天也應該不會有太大的不同. 方正時間與青春都是不知覺地在流逝，偶爾回首過去的光陰，只要欺騙自己已經盡力了, 就不會有遺憾.

然後以後的每一天，告訴自己積極，卻又讓現實成了惰性的藉口.

我的人生，你的人生，每天在找尋，活著的意義，呼吸的理由. 清晨的陽光是那樣的刺眼，對愛困的眼睛是一種折磨，卻是對心裏呼喚生命又從新的開始了.

...

秋天的一個星期六，中午12.56分. FB裏online的都是新加坡的朋友, 紐約的人好像都出去了,儘管天氣有點陰霾. 想著等一會兒要開車去紐約還是坐公車, 好像都拿不定主意... 煩. 呆在家裏寂寞,有人約又懶得出門... 真是矛盾.

好害怕冬天又是自己一個人. 但是好像來到這裡之後從來就是一個人, 可能是少了溫度, 渴望有人的體溫讓自己覺得溫暖一點吧. 夏天的寂寞可以走在街上漫無目的地晃過, 冬天就只能呆在家裏看著電視慢慢熬過.

不知道今年的冬天會不會像去年一樣, 以爲自己的愛情, 在約會三次之後就揮手而去,連個解釋都沒有. 然後時間慢慢過去之後就告訴自己是寂寞產生愛情的錯覺, 因爲畢竟從來就沒有很認識對方. 然後尋找下一個目標.

冬天是一年的總結,在冷冷的天氣裏想著自己的一切. 好像都沒有什麽作爲. sigh. That's why I do not like winter, although I am trying hard to make it different this year.

My Winter Resolution

So, I have decided to set another resolution after my many years ago of achievement. I call it the winter resolution 2009. To learn ice-skating by this winter!.. dang dang dang....~~ Did not dare to write it in another blog for the fear of failing and publicly made known to my friends, but I think I have already said to enough friends offline. Still, another one hopefully is to find someone I really love, although I must say this is 可遇不可求.

My friend has said that if I try to be more proactive, then there is a higher chance of success. Do not know about that, but wonder if this 'try really hard' works, why are there still so many people who cannot find true love and fails once too many times to capture the heart of their love ones and find their 'happily ever after'?

So this one fine day, and the successive 3 days, I met this guy at the canteen and we did a little bit of chat. He is kinda cute, and the 3rd time I saw him my heart gave way and pumped a little bit too fast. Strange that I did not feel it the first 2 times I saw him. Unfortunately I never did see him again, although I did want to for his name.

Thinking back, I think it was kinda unnecessary, maybe it will be love, maybe it will not be. If it is meant to be, the next time I see him, I will ask for his name then. But for now, I will leave it. Peace.






This season is so romantic I feel that is time for love.

hmmm...

偶爾看到飛機飛過
想著你
在另一端做些什麽

心痛已經過去
已經不會哭了
思念已成回憶
已經不會想了
這不會是愛情
因爲你不在我身邊
這不會是愛情
因爲我沒有抱緊你

偶爾聼著你的音樂
想著你
現在在唱著什麽歌

Day of My Life, Just Another Episode on Driving

I don't even know where or how to begin this. 2 tickets in 2 weeks, one speeding, the other, parking.

I am speechless. Condolences to myself and I suspect I am not even going to get the full license after all this. I guess my luck with driving has been used up, after driving a maximum of 95 miles per hour on the highway and average of around 85 miles per hour throughout the whole 8-hour journey.

Like seriously, I never really expect my life to be like that. Given that I am a control freak. Things changed after coming over here and I guess I gave myself a little too much leeway and got comfortable with the devil inside acting out the thoughts and stuff.

Oh well, just another day of trying to make some drama out of the mundane life I guess.

On all this, lesson learnt is to speed carefully (speeding ticket) and do not be forgetful to drop that few quarters (parking ticket).

One thing I should say to be lucky is probably the cops did not do a breath analyzer test on me. I guess that is the last bit of luck left in me that is used up.