To Stay

Ever since the meeting on organization re-structure, my boss told me about the decision that although contract will not change, he would like to keep me here for another year, or if I want, he would fight to help me change to a permanent staff here. He was himself, fighting to stay here and change his contract. Well, he would have no problem, he bought a house, wife's got a job here as well that pays better than him. Expenses are more than affordable compared to England and he's got his friends and golf.

So I start interviewing people around me what they think about staying here forever. Friend pointed out the fact that it was not just the job that has to be considered, but the whole life, and your priorities. What do you like about here? What do you think are waiting for you back there?

Another friend who lived here all her life said that she would not go back and treat this place as her home. She's used to it, life is simple here, you don't have to worry about parents, relatives and all the bugging relationships that you do not want to deal with at all. One person here, you do whatever you want and create your own life that suits you best, so why not?

I started to question myself, what do I want from here and what is it that I like about this land. To begin with, I do not find any particularly interesting that I liked so far except for the fact that lesbian scenes here are pretty neat, and allows me to explore more of myself without worries of bumping into someone I know. Personally I do not feel very strongly about anything around here, just fitting in. I cannot point out and say that 'Oh I like that art scene!' etc. I like it here, just never felt it strongly that this is something for me.

Essentially I think it translates to it's the same anywhere, and I know that I have some place that I'd like to stay more than in NYC, if opportunity presents. Japan or Hong Kong or even Shanghai would probably make me feel more desirable. It boils down that afterall, I felt much at home with Asian countries rather than Europe or US.

So after conclusion, unless I meet the fateful person that will magically turn this place to heaven in my eyes, I would really want to risk and take chance and find some opportunities in other Asia countries. One thing for sure, I do not think that going back to Singapore will be the same for me and not something that I strongly desire as well.