It was too much, I couldn't take it anymore and typed down this whole chunk of words... expressing my emotions and morbidly trying to calm myself down.
am i in self-denial
of who this is what i am
partially hoping that ignoring
would bring about a better person
desperately longing for the warmth
of another one, yet forgetting that this warmth is created by sharing
and giving and sacrificing your own
the spirit tells me that I am alone
not because no one is with me
but because i am not with myself
i have wandered too far, too deep
and lost myself in trying to find others
in trying not to be, yet i got more of it
the loneliness monster
the more i want to get rid of the space between
me and myself, the more void i have created
the more i want to fill up the emptiness
the more i felt the emptiness unfufilled
through the journey of self-exploration
is the fear of knowing that the end is reached
and the wall that wrote the answer
is something that i've always known
too deep thus will the dissappointment be
that i walk through slowly and painfully
and yet yearning as i get nearer, the answer casted
in stone would change and fade
that time slowly erodes clarity and sanity to the truth
that i am only but a lonely and lost human being
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